It was scary to be honest and vulnerable but it made me feel a lot more at ease about the situation and things never became a problem. Yes, it can definitely be scary opening up and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, but in the end it’s always worth it.
Speak up, confront the issue head on, and have a conversation about it. Go and have a real conversation about that twisting feeling in your gut. It’s almost easier to find out somebody is lying to you or abusing your trust in some other way, because severing the tie becomes easier when you are angry.
Maybe you feel sick to your stomach every time she goes out and you don’t know where she is.
Maybe you’ve even gone as far as following her to work and spying on her. But more importantly, you don’t trust You must be able to trust your partner, and you must be able to trust yourself.
So for all of you considering checking your partner’s phone that haven’t yet pulled the trigger: Don’t do it.
Stop trying to control the situation and start taking responsibility for what you can control: YOU.
For all of you that have already checked the cell phone, and that stumbled upon some suspicious text messages or phone calls, I gently say to you wake up. Figure out what’s really going on, and if that twisting feeling won’t go away do not ignore it. I try every day to face things head on like you suggested here, & it has worked wonders in my personal life!
I’m not saying to approach your partner with boxing gloves on, ready to fight. Reply Dan: It’s awesome that you’re starting to face things head on in your life. At the end of the day, your ability to do this all boils down to self-trust & self-worth.
But I am saying that if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck: It’s probably a duck. Once you realize that the way you feel about a situation is enough of a reason to change it, you start to take more rapid & honest action! I love the point of speaking up and being honest about it.
If you’ve checked the phone and there’s nothing there, this is still your issue. I remember last year when my girlfriend told me her ex-boyfriend got hired at her workplace, I initially felt a bit uneasy and I was worried I may be jealous later, so I told her upfront that I was ok with it (not that it needed my approval or anything) but I’ve had jealousy issues in the past and wanted to just be upfront with her about my history so we could have open communication about it.