She told us he was 16, thinking that we would accept him better if we thought he was younger.
However, we have found out how old he really is, and are concerned about her dating someone four years older than she.
(This is also a good way of easing her more gently toward your probable termination of the relationship.) If he seems to behave more as a sixteen-year-old — in terms of past romantic experiences and how he treats your daughter — it may be okay to allow him to visit her, but only in a supervised setting. Encourage friendships with kids her own age and be prepared for a temporary cold war between the generations.
I always have a rule for myself: If he can't drive me to the date, then it's not a real date.
Q: My 14-year-old daughter has recently begun to date a young man who is 18.
The young man may be a terrific person, but most likely his experience is significantly greater than your daughter’s and she may be thrown into making adult decisions as a young adolescent.
On the very slight chance, though, that his maturity level is much lower than his age would predict — and to be totally fair to both your daughter and her friend — it may be wise to meet him.
Should I wait until I'm at least 13 because we both want to date each other badly, but we don't go to the same school so the only way we would see each other would be at each others house or in public.
Do any of you think I should be able to date a 14 year old or wait until we're older and more mature with our feelings?
(She already feels we do not have the right to “pick her friends.”) A: Allowing a fourteen-year-old to date an adult is very likely unwise.
Although she will no doubt disagree, your daughter’s worldliness is probably limited, and she may be quite naïve in terms of relationships and potential sexual matters.