In the getting-to-know-you phase, when we're presenting the very best, borderline-Stepford-wife version of ourselves, there are certain things we hold back.They're our things—anything from resisting the urge to adjust his collar, because the little way it flips up at the back taunts your inner desire for orderliness, to the fact that your guilty pleasure is reading bodice-ripping romance novels—the campier, the better—and you dream of writing your own someday.
If you do want a child at some point, you can't help but put thought into this question; but when you do, make sure you're armed with the latest information.
Recent reports show that your chances of fertility after age 35 might not drop as dramatically as initially thought.
On the days when you leave work fuming, you and your boyfriend love talking about moving to the Midwest and starting an organic garden, leaving all of the city's traffic jams and your office's insufferable meetings-upon-meetings behind.
Except now that your partner's looking at real estate listings and it's dawned on you that your days of eating egg sandwiches at the corner deli are numbered, you're starting to realize how much you hate weeding.
(Though it's worth noting that the chance of a miscarriage increases significantly: 15 percent of women ages 20 to 34 experience one, and that figure climbs to 27 percent for women 35 to 39 years old, and hovers at 26 percent for those 40 to 44, according to the National Vital Statistics report in The Atlantic.) At a time when everyone has an opinion about when you should—or shouldn't—have kids, it's important to know the facts.
And know that the only opinions that matter are yours and your partner's.
And how much you love being an hour's drive from the ocean.
Letting go of your own dream can be crushing; letting go of a shared dream can be downright devastating, especially if you see that your partner is still gung ho on it.
No matter whether you're in a serious relationship or seriously dating around, almost every woman has done the baby math: If I got married two years from now, and waited a year to get past the honeymoon phase, what are my chances of getting pregnant?
Or, "If I met someone great on my next date..." The questions (and calculations) go on and on, all tinged with a lingering concern that our time may be running out.
This is not going to be a fun conversation, but it's possible he would be open to a compromise.