I saw pictures, letters, old Christmas stockings…too much information that I know.
To some extent, wondering about the ex, and even comparing yourself to her, is normal.
It’s a common phase some women go through when they get serious with a man who’s been married before, and it’s far more common in women who’ve never been married.
I apologize if I sound a little scatter-brained, I would just like someone’s professional opinion. Women who’ve experienced this don’t want to admit that they wonder about their partner’s ex-wife, that they wonder if she was prettier, better in the sack, more accomplished, etc.
The average person might read your letter and assume you’re just jealous or insecure about yourself.
But when that phase doesn’t end, there’s a bigger problem.
One mistake you made was to find out “everything.” As I discuss in , nobody should find out that much information about their partner’s ex, and now you’re feeling the results of that decision. Basic information is fine – what sort of person she was, why things didn’t work out – but pictures, letters, and old Christmas stockings are far, far too personal.Yet, the fact that you wrote in for advice on this topic shows that your feelings aren’t ones you’re used to having.Dating a divorced man (and the stuff he comes with) can generate some unusual feelings.Dear Christie, I started dating my current boyfriend about 8 months ago. I have a hard time not constantly comparing myself to his ex-wife.This is my first serious relationship with a man to where we live together and would like to have a future together. Always wondering if we fight too much like they did or if I ever do anything that would remind him of her it even makes me not want a strapless dress for our possible wedding because she had one. Part of my problem is when we first started dating, I wanted to know everything…and I mean everything.Most of us are willing to accept that our partners have been with other people, but none of us want to know the details. Because we want to feel we’re most important to that person, and that’s harder to do when we see such obvious evidence that they loved someone else.