Then I made her laugh by telling her stories about when she was a little girl and used to run naked around the house, giggling while I tried to catch her. Let them go in their diapers until they are begging to sit on the toilet. It was boring, the other kids are often evil, and its hard to sit still for 45 minute stretches listening to an adult talk about stuff you’re never going to remember.I sang a song in the car to her, as a joke, because she knows I can’t sing although I like to try. So why not be like everyone else and give some advice about it: First, when they are babies: A) Eventually they walk. There is absolutely NOTHING they learn in school before the age of 12 that they can’t learn later. Traveling is boring, difficult, frustrating, tiring for kids.
A new US citizen who looked like an ugly midget, who didn’t speak English, would cry all the time, and would occasionally shit on the floor. I told her I loved her and I held her hand when we crossed a parking lot so she wouldn’t get hurt.
Would you ever invite a stranger to come into your house who had those qualities? I helped her buy a gift for a secret Santa thing she was in. I looked at a comic book she was drawing and told her it seemed to me like she was putting together a very good story and I was proud of her. Quick easy stories that they can absorb in quantity.
“Go to your wife,” she said, “she just had a baby.” But I talked my way in and even got a free meal out of it (the Mayfair had a great kitchen until the whole operation was shut down by the police).
I used to pretend to run errands (“Whoops, we need more milk”) and then sit in the café across the street and just read books until my ex would call an hour or so later and say, “Where are you?
When she had the baby and after everyone (mother and baby) was given drugs to make them sleep I went out to play poker again.
Ingrid, at the Mayfair Club on 25 street, refused to let me in.
I told her it sounded like a great profession when she told me what she wanted to be when she grew up (“a clown”). And when they are a little older: D) Take them for walks in the middle of the night outside while you are all in your pajamas. If they want to stay home from school for a day or two and you can accommodate it, then great.
She told me that being a clown was like “free money” you get for making people laugh. Every kid I know (except for mine) seems to have read the entire Harry Potter series by the time they were four years old. Takes them out of their comfort zone in a relatively harmless fashion. Lets not forget that we all hated school when we were younger.
Is it bad that I wanted my now ex-wife to have an abortion before she had my first kid? I couldn’t handle the fact I was about to be a father.
I would go out all night and play poker during the nine months she was pregnant.
By the time they are 18 years old and you have to kick them out of the house, they will probably be walking. There is nothing good about taking a kid on vacation.