Or you feel resistance when your wife comes over to you for a hug and a kiss, and you fall prey to the power of the fear/resistance, which causes you to constrict and turn away from her ever so subtly.
Until you develop a strong, wise presence inside of you that can make choices based on clear intellect and values rather than fleeting thoughts and feelings you will be buffeted around by the fleeting thoughts and feelings that fluctuate like hormones inside your mind and body.
It’s in that small yet decisive moment between thought and action that you can say, “Do I want to latch onto this thought? ” Let’s take the example above with the man who hooks into the resistance and pushes away his wife.
I can hear the anxious questions piping up in the galley right about now: “But how do I know which thoughts are true and which feelings to act on?
A thought enters your mind like “I don’t love my partner enough” or “I have cancer” and you immediately latch onto it as the truth.
The next thing you know you’re spinning into a tizzy of anxiety, caught up in the magnetic energy of that thought which you have believed as truth.
I find myself saying there two statements almost more than any other to my clients and course members.
Somewhere along the way we learned to bow down to every thought and feeling that crosses into consciousness.
If you’re navigating your life by the compass of thoughts and feelings you will live on a stormy sea, indeed.It would be like allowing your three-year old to run your household instead of recognizing that every house – just like every psyche – needs a solid and loving adult at the helm. When you have access to the choice-point – meaning a pause between a thought or feeling and believing it or acting on it – you win back all the power.Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that we never learned along the way how to navigate the sometimes tricky road of thoughts and feelings, meaning how to cultivate the muscle of discernment that allows us determine which thoughts are true and which are false; which feelings are originating from health and which are rooted in fear.Unless you learn the skill of discernment, you will become a complete victim to your thoughts and feelings.If he gives into the feeling and acts from that place, his fear-wall will become fortified.If, on the other hand, he recognizes his habit of resistance and withdrawal and acts against it by moving toward her , he will likely feel the resistance for a few moments and then it will loosen and soften into receptivity.