Consequently, I was left to be raised by my dad and a string of less-than-desirable mother figures.
When I found myself pregnant at only seventeen years old, I was determined to be a great mom.
Understanding his love for me has helped me parent my children well and allowed my children to thrive, in spite of my own inadequacies.
I made a decision that night that I had to fully surrender to the King of Kings and stop “dating” Him. My sin was public, and my heart was devastatingly private. But nothing in my life bore fruit – and my precious little ones suffered.
Twenty-one hours of labor and a few parenting books doesn’t quite prepare you for the challenges of parenthood, and certainly not single parenthood! I moved into government housing, worked a full-time job, and attended college full-time at night.
I added a second child to the mix (because I wasn’t busy or overwhelmed enough) and many nights, wondered how I would ever make it.
Although raised in church, I had fallen away from regular attendance years earlier. I did not see others who were like me, so I just stopped going. However, the moment I decided to begin walking out a new life for me – for my children – God radically transformed my life. He removed bitterness and offense and filled my heart with forgiveness and peace. And although I dare not tell you that I have “arrived” on my parenting journey, I know that the abounding grace of my Heavenly Father has grown me into the mother I always wished I had.
Through hard work and faithful tithing, the Lord brought me out of the projects, off government assistance, and into financial freedom. My love for Him grew and my desire to be a great mom grew. His love for me covered a multitude of sins and failures.
Courtesy of Free Digital I grew up without a mother. You see, no one else on earth loves you quite like your mom. My dad married a total of six times and had plenty of girlfriends and mistresses in between and during his marriages, so there was never a shortage of mothers in my life. Through the years I convinced myself that if my mom had been alive, my life would have been completely different.The exhaustion, disappointment of a failed relationship, and financial burden became too much to bear.At only four years old, I found myself slapping my sweet, innocent boy across his little face in a moment of parenting frustration.I had no idea what that looked like (or how I would do it), but my children would never have the hurt, lack, and disappointment that I had experienced.I can’t even remember ever having held a baby before giving birth to my first-born.