Like in any dating environment, confidence goes further than any amount of money, expensive suite or HIV negative status.As someone who is outwardly HIV-positive, I often get the privilege of hearing from other newly diagnosed people from across the country.
But acting as if it is will most assuredly scare away anyone who is unsure about dating you.
And in almost every instance, the most pressing and immediate concern after just finding out is about how HIV will affect a person’s dating life. When I first found out about my status, all of my romantic dreams instantly felt like dead ones. Besides a reoccurring doctor’s appointment every four months and a new pill to add to my pill box, my worth on the dating market remained the same.
Of course, the first couple months were pretty shaky.
Either your Friday night date is a person is someone who understands the logistics of dating someone HIV-positive, or he doesn’t.
If a potential match is afraid of dating you because of your status, your personality and charm will not remedy his fear.
So sometimes it is best talk to a stranger before you can catch your breath and find your words for your family and friends. And I went wah, wah, wah into my wine glass all through the night.
Although I am no psychotherapist, I can definitely relate and empathize with a myriad of fears that flood a person’s headspace when they first receive the news. Truth is, once I picked myself out of my puddle of tears, I was relatively unaltered.
Learning how to disclose your status isn’t something most gay men discuss over cocktails on a Saturday night, although they should be.
I had to answer the question I am asked over and over again. Many of my friends thought that you should let the person get to know you first before launching into your medical history. Being HIV positive isn’t the same as having a beast of a mother or being a Log Cabin Republican.