I’ve been in and out of 12-step recovery programs (like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) for almost 20 years.I’ve had many periods of sobriety, from a paltry four months to a lengthy seven years (and everything in between).
“The pros of dating in the program are that, chances are, the guy won't leave me when he finds out some of the things I have done.
Or how many people I have slept with,” she says, half-jokingly.
During the past two decades, I’ve dated both men in recovery and men who weren’t alcoholics (called “normies” by us in the program).
I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?
Sam continues, “Dating in the program is obviously nice, because you speak the same language and you don't have to hide your ugly past.
However, the chance of that person relapsing can also be very high.” And, she would know.
The old “I’ve wrestled with my demons and won” line? How about a simple, “I’m a pretty hot colossal f**k up”?
It’s always a little awkward when a potential date wants to “meet you for a drink.” Telling them you’re sober feels like confessing to some horrible chronic STD.
During her sobriety, Sam’s had two relationships with fellow sober addicts, but both ended because of their relapses. Dating a fellow addict can feel a bit like betting with the odds against you.