This probably all sounds pretty dangerous and you’d be right.
Following a short cut-scene in which we see the the red nasty one bugger off with the missus, we immediately appear in a graveyard full of smelly zombie types.
Fast forward a year or so, to the point at which I became a Spectrum devotee, and imagine the glee I felt as I saw Ghosts ‘n Goblins escape the shackles of the arcade and somehow materialise onto the home format before me.
Playing as the knight Sir Arthur, you must rescue a fair maiden from the grasp of Satan (Satan?
If you are too young to have experienced this staple of 80s life, then kudos to you!
Instead, let your latte-powered-juice-blending-occupy-broadband-powered mind consider this: SCARBOROUGH ARCADES RULED!!!
SQUIRE: Sire, I bring news of of a weary traveller at the castle gates; a nobleman who has travelled from the great lands of Zantiach, across the raging seas of Asaroth, traversed the bountiful paradise of Hartlepool, clad only in a pair of soggy underpantacles. Well, I am said to be a just King, and since you have brought me great amusement on this morning I will grant you one desire. Sometime back in the eighties, I found myself on holiday at one of Scarborough’s signature caravan parks.
KING: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You sorry fool! Did you not realise it is forbidden to touch or make contact with another being in this realm, a crime punishable by the ejection of ones clothing into the air around you? Like many families at the time, we made this pilgrimage every year to enjoy the traditional British seaside, to escape the oppression of North East England, and allow my parents to drink heavily at the site clubhouse.
Now on this particular holiday one year, I remember two cabs specifically grabbing my attention; Pengo and Ghosts ‘n Goblins.
Pengo I found insanely difficult, but Ghosts ‘n Goblins seemed to flow a little better for me and I was able to last significantly longer (probably about 30 seconds) and thus represented a better investesment of my gruellingly begged-for capital.
These are easily dispatched with your handy lance which can be upgraded by collecting random urns littered throughout the game.
There are mutant birds to contend with, and also inexplicable venus flytrap plants who shoot blobs at you in a most inconvenient way.